Confessions of a Killer

I have to hand it to Barack for manipulating the news in his favor.  You see, the Navy Seals did not infiltrate a raid on Osama's compound. The truth is I went hunting in Pakistan and stumble upon a nice looking building with a fair amount of goats so I was like 'carpe diem' and went to shoot those goats.  Right as I was about to score some dangerous game, freaking Bin Laden came running at me with his hands in the air.  He seemed pleased to see me.  Unfortunaley, I missed my target and killed public enemy number 2 (we all know I am number 1). Worst thing about it is that pot-smoking Barry took all the credit.  He must have been stoned when he came up with such an unrealistic and pathetic story.  Whatever.  I am still Supreme Leader of the World.