ONE NATION UNDER CHENEY

ONE NATION UNDER CHENEY

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY BE SAFE

Best Kind of Pizza

George used to always tell me that if there was one thing I was great at besides hunting and manipulating, it was critiquing pizza. I love Papa Johns. So good with ginger ale.

Saturday Night Adventure Club

A few of my cronies and I thought that it would be a neat idea if we started another exclusive organization for old, wealthy gentlemen with unlimited mojo.  This organization founded the foundation of fun.  Since we are all faithful men no illicit sexual activities take place in said organization.  Instead, we dress up in all black and roam the streets for opportunity to pounce...to pounce on adventure.  Saturday Night Adventure Club (SNAC) is invite only, don't expect any invitations.  The only other member is my friend Paul Ryan. So every Saturday I text him, "Are you hungry for a SNAC!??!?!?!?!?".

No one ever turns down a SNAC 

Confessions of a Killer

I have to hand it to Barack for manipulating the news in his favor.  You see, the Navy Seals did not infiltrate a raid on Osama's compound. The truth is I went hunting in Pakistan and stumble upon a nice looking building with a fair amount of goats so I was like 'carpe diem' and went to shoot those goats.  Right as I was about to score some dangerous game, freaking Bin Laden came running at me with his hands in the air.  He seemed pleased to see me.  Unfortunaley, I missed my target and killed public enemy number 2 (we all know I am number 1). Worst thing about it is that pot-smoking Barry took all the credit.  He must have been stoned when he came up with such an unrealistic and pathetic story.  Whatever.  I am still Supreme Leader of the World.

Why I Hate Feminists

They are all ugly

Not Me

Much respect for Kim RIP! 

Just thinking of Kim today and I got a little sad.  Gets me even more mad that he is pictured with Bill Bozo Clinton. He was a true hero and I admired his leadership skillz :( 

Andrew Jackson Appreciation Day

Happy Andrew Jackson Appreciation Day

Not everyone can be so blessed to be as divine as myself but the few who are on par to my greatness deserve recognition.  Thus, today I declare is no longer Thanksgiving.  I am issuing an executive order to declare the third Thursday of every November to be a celebratory occasion in honor of Andrew Jackson.  

He did a hell of a lot for our country like driving out those loin cloth wearing indians.  Jackson showed them that no sticks and stones would break our bones and shot them with some grade A weaponry. Andrew Jackson seized executive power and truly embodies the glory of an Imperial President.

Best damn board game ever

My Dog Dwarf

I have a bloodhound named Dwarf. He's four years old. Every other morning I hold Dwarf down with my elbow and dangle a piece of bacon from my breakfast in front of his face, just close enough so he can smell it but he can't eat it, and then I eat it right in front of his face, and then I laugh and laugh. No bacon for Dwarf.

I used to have a female bloodhound but she ran away after chewing through the screen door.

Confessions of a Hybrid Man

Frankly, I find it satisfying each time the left wing media and their pathetic followers label me as heartless.  A foolish mistake on their part, which only further proves that I am superior in every possible facet of life.

So what if I have a metal mechanic heart inside my metaphysical human body?  Do you actually think a pure human could be this powerful?

Thanks to my robotic artificial blood pumping heart- I can now live forever. My heart be as hard as metal but I can sure tell you something that won't be when Rachel Maddow comes on television and that is my (insert my name here).

If Obama is the anti-Christ, then I am Satan.

Cheney's Tough Love

From Angler: The Cheney Vice Presidency by Barton Gellman 

Taking the Bait Too Easily

My former psychologist suggested that I maintain a blog to reconcile with my inner torment. Naturally, I threw a shoe at her to express my outrage but the result was only a broken window.  Shelia promised to drop charges if I start a blog...

This will be my first and last post.


Joke is on you Shelia!